Are You A Republican?

A new year is upon us. This is a time when people indulge that time-honored tradition―a New Year’s resolution―of resolving to change an undesired trait or behavior. It is in this spirit that the following survey is offered for politicians and their faithful supporters.

Has anyone ever called you a “miserable son of a bitch?  If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican.  Former Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner, during a speech in 2016 called Texas Republican U.S. Senator Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh,” and further stated: “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone. But I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

Are you a white nationalist who believes that racial diversity is not our strength as a country? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican. Congressman Steve King (R-Iowa), quoting Hungarian Prime Minister Victor Orban, tweeted “Diversity is not our strength. Mixing cultures will not lead to a higher quality of life but a lower one.” In addition, King has frequently questioned contributions to society by non-white people.

Have you ever supported, or voted for a person facing credible accusations of pedophilia? If the answer is yes, you could only be a Republican. Former U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore, who, as a man in his thirties only enjoyed the company of teenage girls, was endorsed by the Republican President and supported financially by the Republican National Committee, headed by Ronna Romney McDaniel.

For men: have you ever bragged that you are a “star,” and this therefore gives you the power to grab female genitalia without consequence? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican.  The infamous “Access Hollywood” videotape revealed only one out of a host of character defects in the Republican who resides in the White House.

For women: have you ever voted for a man who brags about his prowess in molesting women? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican.  There are two streams of thought here. First, you might be an introvert who has latent fantasies of bedding a billionaire, and second, you might be a brazen extrovert (also known as a tramp) who openly accepts an invitation to slither into the gutter and wallow in the filth and perversions of a Republican Commander-in-Chief.

For self-styled Evangelicals:  does your faith in God give you confidence to stand before a crowd of reporters and lie with a straight face? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican. White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders proliferates lies on a daily basis. A study by the Washington Post reveals that the number of lies in the first year of the current administration is over 1,000, as compared with 18 by the previous administration over a four-year period. The only time that Sanders does not lie, like her boss, is when her lips are not moving.

Have you ever attempted to subvert the rule of law? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican…not to mention a traitor. It is common knowledge that Russians interfered with our last presidential election. We also know that certain Americans assisted the Russians. At this time, we do not know what these Americans received in return for their treasonous acts. Nevertheless, Congressmen Devin Nunes (R-Ca) and Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) are acting like lawyers for the Kremlin in their bold attempts to undermine the FBI and the ongoing investigation by Special Counsel Robert Mueller into Russian collusion and conspiracy.

Have you ever accepted a bribe to vote in a certain way? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican.  Representative Chris Collins (R-NY) and Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) publicly admitted that their contributions from big donors would end following their failure to repeal the Affordable Care Act, if they did not soon do something to enrich their political benefactors (“Get it done, or don’t ever call me again”). At the time of these statements, a “tax reform” package was on the legislative agenda.

As a legislator, have you ever voted in favor of a bill that would greatly enrich your finances? If the answer is yes, you might be a Republican. The recently passed Republican tax bill greatly enriched many of the senators and representatives who voted on it, not to mention the man who signed the bill into law. No Democrats voted in favor of the bill. Pundits referred to one of the more noteworthy Republican votes as the vehicle for a “Corker-Kickback.”

If you answered yes to one of the above questions, you have the necessary credentials to present yourself as a bona fide member of the Republican Party; this must be a great source of pride for yourself, your family and your community. If you answered yes to three of the foregoing questions, you are a contemptible person, and probably a traitor. If you answered yes to all of the above questions, you are a revolting specimen of humanity, and not even decades of successful New Year’s resolutions will eradicate your moral unfitness.

This year past has been a period of unprecedented tumult. Republicans have led a withering assault against free speech, the rule of law and the various institutions of democracy. They have poisoned the air, given corporations the authority to fleece the public, stolen  public lands, and in a final act of contempt for hard working Americans, lined the already deep pockets of wealthy individuals with a pseudo-tax reform act that future generations will be forced to pay for.

To those who are not Republicans, HAPPY NEW YEAR! And good luck with saving our democracy in the coming months. The storm is gathering.

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